This
book has been booming and a best seller for the last few years, including me who
wonders on what is the content inside the book because of its title. Maybe it
is true when I hear a saying like don’t
judge a book from its cover but only for this book becomes don’t judge a book from its title. Based
on my experience when I read it, it takes time to finish due to my laziness. It
is a motivational book on self-development but unlike other motivational books
in common, this is so different. I read it in the original version which is written
in English though, it is damn good.
But
you know, I can take lessons from it after reading chapter by chapter and I
would like to write all of it below randomly.
#Blogging first, being worldwide writer later
I
forgot to mention the author of this book is ‘Mark Manson’, before writing this
book he is actively writing on his blog. Probably it can happen to me,
starting with blogging and then when I am lucky it will bring me to be a big
author, who knows! Hehe... just kidding, Dude! Okay, everything needs an effort;
nobody can reach success instantly after all.
#And of course learn how to not give a f*ck
Please
don’t get me wrong at first! To not give a fuck here doesn’t mean we ignore and
don’t care about anything. We can consider and make a priority to what thing
really matters and what thing doesn’t really matter to us. It is just like to
not care about many things which are less or even unimportant and not valuable,
we can choose to what things we have to give a fuck about. Do you feel anxious
when looking at people on social media with all of their achievements? Do you
feel insecure when your friend’s skin is more glowing and flawless than you? Do
you care about what people think about your eyebrows? If yes, you give a fuck
about worthless things.
This
is what I have found on Mark Mansion’s book
“Not giving a fuck does not mean being
indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different”
#We are responsible to overcome our sadness by ourselves
not others
If
now you are not feeling okay because someone hurts you, you will definitely
blame that person and expect responsibility for your sadness. Or you are
probably in the situation where your parent got divorced; you feel no one can
help you to fix your problem; or when the loved one like wife/husband or other
family members tries to cheat on you and break your trust even leave you, all
of those things may not be your fault but will you blame them for your
disappointment because what they did?
Some
of us sometimes prefer to be Victim
Mentality
where they have no idea to solve their problems.
So, something that they can do is blaming others for their problems. So I
think this is true when I found these words “The only way to overcome pain is to first learn how to bear it”. Some of our problems are probably not
our fault but we are still responsible to solve it, we can still choose what
action will we take, accept or reject it, do it or not, we should not hope
special treatment from others but we should attempt to overcome and maintenance
it by ourselves because the source of happiness is in ourselves, not others.
#The importance of saying ‘No’
A
‘yes man’ is exact terms for somebody like me who always say; yes, okay, alright, agree even though I
disagree for some reasons. I will do anything to make people not disappointed
though I frankly in the deepest of my heart I don’t want to do it. I think it
is a good value but in fact, saying yes to
everything or everybody is part of standing for nothing. It may sounds rude but I should have an ability to say ‘No’ and
dare to say the truth if being asked for an opinion, sometimes we need to
reject something that will make us better, honesty is part of good values.
#Having positive about all of the things is not always
good
We
often read or hear what mostly the author, motivator or influencer tell us that
we should stay positive about anything that happens in our lives. And for some
reason, I agree that there is always a good side we can learn a lesson from
anything that happens to us even if it is something bad but sometimes positivity does not always become a solution to life’s problem even it can be a form of
avoidance. Beside positive we also have a negative emotion, so if we always deny
negative emotion, it will lead us to a deeper negative emotion, even worse than
it is as Mark says in this book, emotional dysfunction. Negative emotions are
an important part of emotional health, denying negativity can also be a problem
rather than a solution. So, if we find that life sucks we better just admit it.
There
are still many things else I can pick up from this book and write down here actually
but due to my anxiety about making the majority in this country get bored
to read this in a longer text. I realize that not so many people like reading. Wait!
See?! Realize or not I am even still giving a fuck about what people think
about my writing. I know all the above are a little bit challenging to take it into
practice. In fact, in a real situation we still do the opposite things above.
Besides, we can choose and define what values we will adopt, good or bad
values.
For
more detail, you can read his book “A subtle art of not giving a f*ck” by Mark
Manson.
Also read: egalitarianism